What Would Jesus Brew? Serve Beer to Attract Young People!

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Because some people need a good, solid reason to attend church...

This is an article from NPR about churches that are serving beer to attract people to church. This topic is similar to the previous Museum of Idolatry post, (the "tattoo church"): sometimes it looks pretty desperate when churches try so hard to be "relevant."  

Photo credit: Corey Grunewald Facebook.com/coreygrunewaldphotography

Photo credit: Corey Grunewald Facebook.com/coreygrunewaldphotography

This is not a post against the responsible consumption of alcohol; we have the freedom in Christ to drink (but not to engage in drunkenness). This is about the worship service becoming much, much less than a worship service. When a church adds beer (or anything else) to attract new people, it's really hard for the central focus of our faith to remain so. But there are some notable efforts being made to use the craft-brew phenomena as a way to start a dialogue with non-believers. For example, here's a very interesting group called "The Bible and Beer Consortium" that holds meetings apart from the worship service to discuss the Christian faith. Here's another group called "What Would Jesus Brew?" And here's a good, short article addressing these "beer/church" issues and the NPR article; and here's one more.

There's a difference between a gathering to exchange ideas, listen to speakers and socialize, and an actual worship service. When churches remove all of the sacred elements from the worship service in the name of attracting new people, they end up hurting the very people they are called to serve.

Ultimately, it isn't a good idea to depend on beer (or any other worldly, cultural thing) to bring people closer to God-we've been given Word and Sacrament by God Himself. Praise be to God!

“Therefore, putting aside all malice and all guile and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the Word, that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord. And coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected by men, but choice and precious in the sight of God, as you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. ”
— 1 Peter 2:1-5



Get A Tattoo Onstage During The Sermon!!

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Because nobody can listen to a regular sermon anymore...

So, let's think about this for a minute:

The God who created the entire universe from nothing, who was born to a virgin, lived an amazing life full of miracles, teachings and healings, then willingly gave His life on the cross to pay for the sins of all the world, then rose victoriously from the dead... all of that is not good enough to get people's attention? 

But if someone get's a tattoo onstage during the sermon-that's gonna make the Gospel message a lot better? If only we would have known this before! 

“I didn’t want to repent of my sins, but now that some lady got a tattoo during a sermon, I believe. Plus, it’s easier to pay attention to a sermon while being completely distracted. ”

— Said Nobody Ever

Closing thoughts: If pastors continue this downward spiral, where will it end up? If we say that "people are different nowadays" and "we need a gimmick to get people to church these days" aren't we just setting ourselves up for even more ridiculous and embarrassing stunts? And if a person comes to church only because they were attracted to the spectacle that made it "new" and "relevant," what kind of person are we attracting, and why are they really showing up? 

Hillsong's "Sleazy Silent Night!"

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The following video is wrong on so many levels. 

Aesthetically, it's just weird, confusing and embarrassing. 

Hillsong Music Director: "Hey everybody, I've got a great idea! Let's take the beloved and peaceful Christmas hymn 'Silent Night' and turn it into a loud, obnoxious, roaring twenties style, Las Vegas big-band production! You know, kinda like Christmas in a whorehouse! What'ya think?!"

Everybody Who Should Know Better at Hillsong: (silence)

But beyond the ridiculous nature of this one particular song/video there's the more serious problem that this "thing" claims to be the church...

Hillsong leads the way when it comes to "churches" featuring worldly, gigantic and expensive spectacles to attract a large audience. They are laughing all the way to the bank, too, as this global empire continues to gobble up followers around the world.

“Do not love the world or the things of the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world-the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life-is not from the Father but is from the world.”
— 1 John 1: 15-16
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what it the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. ”
— Romans 12: 1-2
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.”
— 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-5

Closing thoughts: For those of you who say "but this was a performance at a special concert event-this wasn't an actual worship service; you need to see this in it's proper context..." Here's a question; why would a "church" have an event/concert with moral guidelines that are different from the moral guidelines that govern a worship service? Why be "a little more like the world" to attract people to a spectacle (like this video) and then "re-adjust" things for a Sunday morning service? If this video is supposed to be sleazy on purpose to somehow try and teach a lesson, Hillsong doesn't mention it anywhere-and this is from their own YouTube channel. It seems that this is just a very obnoxious version of Silent Night to grab the attention of the crowd. Note: A few hours after we posted this video, it was "made private" by Hillsong; the video on this page now is a copy we put on Vimeo.

For more information, here's a link to Church Watch Central's Hillsong page.

As of January 14th, 2016, here is an important Follow Up Article!

 

"Star Wars" Pastor Defends and Promotes Cosmic Christmas Publicity Stunt

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Here's the "Han Solo" pastor attempting to defend his church's publicity stunt/Star Wars obsession with obviously pre-planned, "sound-bite" style answers (and a winning smile!):

This video came from an web page dedicated to getting publicity-it's an online "press kit." Seriously. Here's the "publicity stunt" web page:

In this online press kit the pastor, Tim Lucas, says, "We believe we have the greatest story in the world, but the challenge is reaching people with that story. There are no rules that say church has to be dry and boring."

     So, the story of God coming to earth as a baby so that He can eventually die on the cross for our sins isn't enough. That would be dry and boring. But if we talk all about Star Wars and dress in costumes and replace Biblical characters with Star Wars characters that's so much better. The church's press kit says: "Rather than focus on the birth of Jesus on earth, Lucas will share the story from heaven's perspective, which includes a rogue emperor, evil rebellion, miraculous birth, and a cosmic war behind the stars. The idea stems from Lucas' own passion for Star Wars."  Yep. This pastor is really passionate about Star Wars.

Is this guy familiar with the term "idolatry?" Or at least "bizarre fascination with nostalgic childhood movie memories that cloud one's ability to fully embrace reality and rightly handle God's Word?"

Nothing Says "Desperation" Like Star Wars Church at Christmas!!

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This pastor (who dressed up as Han Solo to preach on Sunday morning) has jumped whatever remains of the shark. Welcome to Christmas in the land of Evangelical Embarrassment. After church you can get your picture taken with the Storm Trooper "Magi:" 

Here's some more examples of "Star Wars at Church" from various places...

In the following episode of Fighting for the Faith, Chris Rosebrough does a partial analysis of a sermon from the "Han Solo" pastor-the sermon review starts at 00:11:46 into the show:


Supernatural Video Cage Fight!

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Here's some more over-the-top, supernatural, "Signs and Wonders" videos; notice the similarities between them. This is the "Theology of Glory" taken to an extreme. While it's true we should represent Jesus in our behavior as best as we can, we are not supposed to be Jesus (duh!), or fool ourselves into thinking that the whole unsaved world is just waiting for us to show up and "manifest the glory of God."

Which one do you think "wins" the battle of videos? See the Curator's opinion below...

 

The winner: Todd White's video kicks sand in the face of all the other supernatural hype videos; watch at 1:15 when every cinematic trick in the book is utilized to emotionally manipulate the viewer and propagate the Dream Destiny Thingy:

“The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore, God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness.”
— 2 Thessalonians 2: 9-12


The Supernatural (Hype) Now!

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Jesus did not come to die on the cross for our sins, apparently-He came to "activate us into the supernatural realm of signs and wonders" or something like that. One thing for sure: He would have needed a huge ego and a huge video budget to compete with this guy-Guillermo Maldonado. These larger-than-life, hyped-up promotional videos are becoming commonplace, and they succinctly present another Gospel altogether. "Get ready to receive your miracle today, and allow God to use you to demonstrate His power here and now! This is a reality you can experience in your life today. Join us as we see more of the supernatural now!" Yikes...

“For false christ’s and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.”
— Matthew 24:24

Love Your Life! Or Maybe Not?

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Here's a happy, peppy and positive promo video for a woman's conference called "Love Your Life" at Lakewood Church. As a side note, try to not notice the world's skinniest skinny jeans being worn by Lisa Bevere in a stadium full of women struggling with body-fat/shame issues at 11 seconds into this... 

Here's what the Bible says:

Luke 14:26 "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple."
Acts 20:24 "But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and ministry."
Revelation 12:11 "And they have conquered him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives even unto death."

MaxLife Encounter!!!

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Want to "learn how to get better at life by using what you presently have?!" Want some "inspired life coaching to create opportunities for your success?!!" 

Here's the Success Seminar you missed from January 2015 (if you're real super lucky he'll have another one in January 2016!)... 

“...and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.”
— 1 Timothy 6:5
“Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”
— Hebrews 13:5

The Museum of Idolatry: Relaunch!

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When Chris Rosebrough first began blogging on the Museum of Idolatry (the actual web address was www.alittleleaven.com) in February of 2007, this is how he explained it-and it's true today more than ever:

What has become of the Christian Church in America?

Answer: Too much of it has decided to mimic the world. Too much of it has stopped preaching about man’s sin and need for a savior. After all, that message is boring, passe and irrelevant to unbelievers. These new seeker sensitive, purpose-driven, Willow Creek wannabes have discarded expository Biblical teaching and have replaced it with man-centered, self-help pep talks that are appealing to the world around them. This was foretold in God's word nearly 2000 years ago by the Apostle Paul.

“For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.”
— 2 Timothy 4:3

We are not called to partner with the world and pop culture. Instead we are called out of it and set apart from it.

“Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.”
— 1 Corinthians 5:6-8

Think of this site as a Museum of Idolatry.

This site is a collection of the crazy and worldy things that occur when the church decides to satisfy itching ears rather than faithfully preach Christ Crucified.

This site is a collection of the worldy insanity that is being passed off as church today.

This site is not positive. This site is not politically correct and it is not seeker-sensitive.

“Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.”
— Ephesians 5:6-10

At times this site also makes fun of the idolatrous things that we're exposing. If that makes you uncomfortable, please consider the examples given to us in the Bible of Godly men making fun of those who follow after idols and false religion. The example set for us by Elijah on Mt. Carmel is one of our favorites.

“And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying, “Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.”
— 1 Kings 18:27

We hope you find our collection eye-opening and we pray that it will spur you into action and cause you to consider what you can do to change things.

We believe that change begins with getting back to having the message of Christ Crucified for sinners as the center and substance of all of our preaching.

“And I, when I came to you, brothers,did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.”
— 1 Corinthians 2:1-2
“Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you—unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures.”
— 1 Corinthians 15:1–4

As we're building and expanding the brand new Pirate Christian Media website (at the end of 2015), we will continue to document and expose the growing apostasy that's pervading the church. Perhaps it will help you see the dark and wicked things that were right in front of you all along.

If you are comfortable defending and promoting the latest version of the worldly "church," we passionately hope you'll return to God's Word and carefully consider all that He has to say about the true Church and reject the teachings of men.

May God be given the honor He is due (which is long overdue!),

Steven "The (New) Kurator" Kozar

Wrestling Match, Drag Race or Youth Conference?

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This is so exaggerated and over-the-top, it's beyond embarrassing-it's a parody of itself. "Extreme worship, drama, an in-your-face word, and of course, the raw presence of God!!" 

Because regular worship is not... extreme enough. And unless a word is in-your-face it's no good. And the normal presence of God is okay, but the raw presence of God is even better (actually, just the "normal" presence of God would kill you). The young people subjected to this kind of delusional Christianity are to be greatly pitied. Most sadly of all, this extremely hyper, overly-emotional approach burns people out-just as it did in the days of Charles Finney...

Here's a video of people jumping around, crying and then Pastor Salvo yelling a lot; and sounding more "inner-city-a" the longer he speaks-a:


Quack and the bean stalk

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What you see in today's Christianity, you just can't make up.

Oh wait. "Prophetess" Kathi Pelton who gets her prophecies onto the Elijah List did. (This is the graphic she added to her prophecy.)

YOUR SEED IS ABOUT TO BE A BEANSTALK THAT REACHES HEAVEN AND BRINGS YOUR MIRACLE!

Jack_and_beanstalk___sample_1_by_aokstudios

A vision and word:

 
This morning as I waited on the Lord I saw a vision of a seed being planted that overnight turned into a beanstalk that reached to Heaven. It was like a scene out of the fairy tale, “Jack and the Beanstalk”.
 
As seeds were planted, God’s people were ascending to the Throne Room in Heaven and seated next to the Father and the Son. As they sat down they were instructed to watch what God was going to do for them. Then I saw the giant that had opposed these individuals taken down by the power of the Lord. God overcame this giant, removed his authority (his crown) and restored joy, resource and hope to His people.
 
Just as in the fairy tale story, Jack traded things that were essential to his family’s survival for a single seed. Many of you have been taking what is essential for your livelihood and the Lord has been asking you to give it away. He has exchanged your gift for a seed to sow into the soil of His Kingdom. It is not a magic seed but a miracle seed.
 
I was immediately reminded of the story of the widow and her son in 1 Kings 17where she takes the last of her provision and obeys God by using it to feed the prophet Elijah. This act of obedience not only released her ongoing provision but it also brought miraculous healing to her son. You may be looking at the end of all of your provision and the Lord is asking you to give it away but you are to know that your obedience will release your miracle.
 
God is looking for those who will hear and obey. This is part of your training and it is part of your partnership with Heaven to receive your breakthrough for the sake of His glory. We may not have a goose that lays daily golden eggs like in the fairy tale but we have something much better…we have a God who keeps His promises and when we obey His voice breakthrough is released.
 
Kingdom principles rarely make sense to our human understanding but we are to come like a child (like Jack) and believe that God is able to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves as we yield to His ways and obey His voice.
 
Kathi Pelton
jkpelton@sbcglobal.net

From - http://oceansinthedesert.com/2015/06/24/your-seed-is-about-to-be-a-beanstalk-that-reaches-heaven-and-brings-your-miracle/, Posted on June 24, 2015.

Message to Gateway: HE IS RISEN - not "it" is risen

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Good Friday is a time to for churches to preach how Christ was lifted up on the cross so that people may know that are forgiven of their sins. Resurrection Sunday is a time for churches to proclaim "He is risen indeeed".

But for some reason, Gateway Church decided to advertise their Easter with this tasteless erectile dysfunction ad spoof.

Worst Easter Advertisement EVER! Run Away! Don't Look!!

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And the Worst Easter Advertisement in the History of the Christian Church Award goes to....Action Church

No matter how many times you say to yourself "make it go away" what you're about to see will plague you for the rest of your life. You've been warned...

 

 

There's still time to turn back...

 

 

You asked for it...

 

 

 

Pastor Hughes and gang "turn back the clock to save the day" on Easter?

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Church of the Rock decided to plug this advert for their Easter service (because nothing says "The Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ" like this movie):

BackFromTheFuture_V2_Web_cropped
BackFromTheFuture_V2_Web_cropped

This Easter, Church of the Rock will embark on another epic adventure to discover the true meaning of Easter. Join the gang as they turn back the clock to save the day. Pastor Mark Hughes will be preaching the message "Back from the Future." [Link]

Where would we be if it wasn't for Mark Hughes and his posse?

Hillsong's 2015 Rose-tinted-Glasses "Vision"?

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You just can't make this stuff up. This is the gimmick Hillsong pulled for their 2015 Vision Sunday:

Hillsong-vision-assimilation"Oooooo! Vision!"

Who are responsible for the roses tinted glasses vision outbreak? Why Brian Houston and Bobbie Houston of course! This is an image of both fuhrer's promoting "The Cause" which is on Bobbie Houston's Instagram:

Hillsong-vision-brianbobbie

"I often tell our church that we have one vision... No doubt you have heard of an “us-and-them” spirit. It is one I do not let fester in our church. I ask our leaders, “On which side of ‘us and them’ do you find yourself?” Loyalty always positions itself as one of “them”. You can build the church, a marriage, and friendship on that kind of loyalty." - Brian Houston

The prophetic "Vision" of Hillsong has also invaded the animal Kingdom.

Hillsong-vision-dog"He's counting down the days. #vision" - Brian Houston

Resistance is futile. Who will be assimilated next into the Hillsong Vision?

Beiber submitting to Hillsong Vision

Tithe Rapaganda

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How do you fleece your church when Christian families are suffering through the Global Financial Crisis? Introduce your church to the "Tithe Rap". This tithe* gimmick will be sure to entertain the gullible to part with their cash! (Robert  Morris - eat your heart out.)

 

This little gimmick has quite the following.

 

* tithing is a false doctrine that scams people of their money.