February 28, 2020

Todd White, Bill Johnson and Benny Hinn Race to China To End the Coronavirus!

February 28, 2020/ Steven Kozar

Todd White, Bill Johnson, and Benny Hinn are going to demonstrate, once and for all, that they are doing “greater works than Jesus!”

In an unprecedented move of supernatural power and public relations, these three Apostles of Faith are dropping all of their lucrative speaking engagements in order to end the Coronavirus.

**Here’s Todd White on his way to the airport, thinking about all of the many healings he will soon be facilitating in China.**

Bill Johnson, senior pastor at Bethel, Redding, took a few minutes to hold a press conference at the airport before rushing off to the catch his flight. “We know that there is no coronavirus in heaven, and we’re supposed to bring heaven to earth, so this is my chance to prove the validity of my beliefs by actually doing something supernatural-just like Jesus,” said Johnson. He continued in a tone of both pious reflection and pseudo profundity, “I know that I spend a lot of time on stages all over the world telling people how we’re all supposed to do greater works than Jesus, even though I have done nothing even approaching the miraculous works of our Lord, so this is my chance to either put up or shut up.” Reporters were not certain whether Johnson was holding back tears, or if he had accidentally swallowed his breath mint as he left the press conference and handed the keys of his Aston Martin to an assistant had had been struggling with “Papa Bill’s” overflowing cart of Louis Vuitton luggage.

“The Holy Spirit is the spirit of the resurrection, and the Holy Spirit took up residence in every believer, and He wants to flow through us to demonstrate the resurrection of Jesus. Every miracle demonstrates & reaffirms that Jesus is alive. We owe the world an encounter with God, and I will give every person suffering with the coronavirus an encounter of God’s miraculous power. Talk is cheap, and I’m done making speeches.”

— Bill Johnson

Benny Hinn, not wanting to let his declining age or dwindling crowds diminish his reputation as the World’s Greatest Healer, wasted no time catching a first class flight out of Los Angeles on his way to China. Although Pastor Benny did not make the details of his trip public, insiders in his organization, who wish to remain anonymous, reported that he demanded that no layovers in India take place, as he is known to hate the smell of that country.

**Benny Hinn on his way to China to end the coronavirus.**

The newcomer to this trio of Apostles is Todd White, who not only made a public announcement of his plans to end the coronavirus, he also broke into a beatboxing song about how healing the people of China is “normal Christianity.” Mr. White quickly ended his song when he noticed that most of the people in the room had left.

Here’s a photograph of Todd White, outside of the airport in Beijing, checking the first person he met for the coronavirus:

As soon as the coronavirus has been eliminated by these faith healers we will update this article.

On a related note, Kat Kerr was not able to raise the funds to buy a plane ticket to China, but she promises to do her part to end the coronavirus in much the same way as she has moved hurricanes.

March 05, 2019

Shawn Bolz Does Google Cold Reading at The Send as Holy Spirit Takes a Nap.

March 05, 2019/ Steven Kozar

In a recent press conference the Holy Spirit spoke about recent events at The Send, in Orlando, FL on Feb. 23, 2019. “After so many hours of hypnotic, mid-tempo, repetitive music I just had to lay down and close my eyes for a few minutes,” said the Holy Spirit in a somewhat apologetic tone. “Well, that few minutes turned into several hours of blissful, uninterrupted sleep. I must’ve really needed the rest after being conjured up repeatedly throughout the day.” A reporter from Charisma Magazine asked Him, “How did Shawn Bolz get such an accurate word of knowledge about Dennis Melnichuk if you weren’t even awake to feed him the information?” The Third Person of the Trinity shifted uncomfortably in His chair for a moment before replying plainly, “Mr. Bolz did what was necessary, under the conditions of the moment: he got a few names off of the The Send registration list and did a quick Google search to retrieve pertinent information for the purpose of building up the saints.” After a few whispered gasps could be heard, an awkward pause filled the pressroom as everyone considered the gravity of the situation.

A young reporter from the Orlando Examiner asked Him, “Sir, please forgive me if my question is out of line, but basically you’re saying that Shawn Bolz lied… and, and, he pretended to get supernatural help from you when it was really information he just found online??” The Sovereign God of the Universe seemed unfazed by the confrontational, yet legitimate, question. He answered without hesitation, “Look, here’s how this works: I’m a busy guy, I’m doing stuff for people all day long, so I’m not gonna sit here and apologize for anything. These people wanted to see a “sign from God” and they got exactly what they wanted. I’m all about results, and Shawn Bolz got results.” As if He was energized by His newly-found transparency He continued, “Do any of you people have any idea what it’s like to be shouted at all day long? Have you ever had a stadium full of people begging and pleading for you to do stuff all day long? In the hot Florida sun?? No, you haven’t. I was exhausted, I took a nap, Bolz did the right thing to appease the sign-seekers, and everyone was happy. Heck, they’re still happy! Even after they learn that the whole thing was fake they refuse to believe it because they like it so much. I call that a success. No more questions.”

The Holy Spirit then got up to leave, taking with Him a large glass of freshly-squeezed Florida orange juice. The roomful of reporters began to lightly applaud as Benny Hinn pulled up in his gold-plated Ferrari to provide taxi service, as the two were reportedly on their way to attend Lou Engle’s “Kundalini Workout Program.” Mr. Hinn could be heard to say “watch out-this thing doesn’t have cup holders!” as the two sped off, making their way through the Orlando traffic.

Read the complete version of this article at Steven Kozar’s all-new The Messed Up Church website.

February 25, 2019

Francis Chan Promoting Benny Hinn and Rodney Howard-Browne

February 25, 2019/ Steven Kozar

Here’s a video showing Francis Chan promoting “The Send” where he was a speaker along with many false teachers, such as Todd White, Lou Engle, Bill Johnson and these two complete heretics who finished up the conference:

Benny Hinn and Rodney Howard-Browne:

Here are some more videos on these (really) false teachers:

March 29, 2018

Bethel Redding's Liturgical Prayer to the God of Mammon

March 29, 2018/ Steven Kozar

It seems this is what we should expect from NAR Prosperity Preacher, Bill Johnson:

Click on this recent episode of Fighting for the Faith to hear a little bit of Bill Johnson's Scripture twisting. Here's a recent episode about fellow Bethel Prosperity Preacher, Kris Vallotton: I See Rich People. For a LOT more information about Bill & Bethel check out this: The Bill Johnson Cornucopia of False Teaching, Bible-Twisting and General Absurdity

Thanks to Is Not Satire for this story/video!

**Benny Hinn says: "You guys are getting good at this Prosperity Preaching!"**

February 13, 2018

The Benny Hinn vs. Todd White Sing-Off Competition and Commissioning Ceremony

February 13, 2018/ Steven Kozar

2017 was a really good year for Todd White; he became a "Christian Super Star" and even received extra special treatment from Kenneth Copeland and Benny Hinn! In this video, we see the special sing-off competition and commissioning ceremony that took place at the Jesus Conference 2017:

Todd White really knows how to go BIG. He went from a complete unknown just a decade ago to sharing the spotlight with the world's richest and most notorious false teachers.

Here he is talking about "encountering the Holy Spirit in a Benny Hinn meeting:"

Here he is practically speechless in the presence of the great and mighty Kenneth Copeland just a few months ago, as the two of them raise money for Todd's gigantic $19 million facility:

Todd White and Kenneth Copeland: Prosperity Pimps (Like the Apostle Paul)

In 2015 Todd White made over $600,000 from his little "street ministry!"

Please watch this interview with Benny Hinn's nephew, Costi Hinn, who has rejected the prosperity Gospel of his wealthy and famous uncle in order to follow Jesus Christ:

Here's an expose on Benny Hinn from 2002:

Here's what the Apostle Paul said about preachers getting rich:

2 Corinthians 2:17 “Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.”

1 Timothy 6:5, 9-10 “...and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. (9) But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. (10) For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”

1 Corinthians 5:11-13 "But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of a brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler-not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those on the outside. Remove the evil person from among you."

Titus 1:7-11 “For the overseer must be above reproach as God's steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict. For there are many rebellious men, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, who must be silenced because they are upsetting whole families, teaching things they should not teach for the sake of sordid gain.”

Here's what Jesus said about getting rich:

Matthew 6:19-21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Matthew 6:24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

Luke 6:20-26 And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said: “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets. But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation. Woe to you who are full now, for you shall be hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep. Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets."

Here's what the Apostle Peter said about preachers getting rich:

2 Peter 2:1-3 “But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves. Many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of the truth will be maligned; and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.”

Here's what the Apostle John says about getting rich:

1 John 2:15-17 "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For all that is in the world-the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions-is not from the Father but is from the world. And this world is fading away, along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

Here's Todd White's $1 million mansion: