How do you know if you have The Swiss Army Knife anointing? Doug Addison says we'll all have The Swiss Army Knife anointing this season. (What season is he referring to? Halloween?)

Remember folks, God can't equip you, unless you believe He is equipping you. (But if you post a cheesy stock photo and make claims that don't exist in the Bible... well, you might be Doug Addison.)

What is The Swiss Army Knife anointing, you ask? How do you know if you have it? How do you know you have something that isn't even in the scripture? Below are five signs you may have it.

1. Lime green and yellow swag.

You may wake up one morning wearing lime green and yellow hipster swag. The lady above has a real neato-mosquito lime green (Or some bright shade of green...) knit hat. Your Swiss Army Knife anointing ensemble will come with a delightful yellow sweater and green hipster glasses.

2. Strong desire to be crammed into a drawer.

Maybe if you have a strong desire to be crammed into a drawer, never to be used, then you'll know you have this anointing? Because I have a Swiss Army Knife, and I never use it, it's actually crammed into a drawer.

3. Strong desire to be an unused corkscrew.

Possibly if part of your consciousness feels like a corkscrew that will never be used to open a bottle of wine, then maybe, just maybe then you'll know you have this anointing? Does anyone really use the corkscrew on a Swiss Army Knife to open a bottle of wine?

4. You fear being replaced by a discounted knockoff of yourself.

Swiss Army Knives are really pricy, and admit it, you've seen the discounted knockoff versions at your local drug store. I also own two of those, that I never use.

5. You think you're a three inch saw capable of doing major lumberjack work.

Like the corkscrew, is anyone really going to use the little saw to do major lumberjack work? Probably not.

And this absurd list is just as absurd as creating an anointing that isn't even listed in scripture.